SS501... IS... IN... MALAYSIA... RIGHT... NOW.... (Kota Kinabalu to be very specific) WTF!!!!!!!!!!! 

It is said that they might come over to KL for a short fansign before they head back to Korea on the 3rd. OH MY GOD. Why must they come now and in such short + sudden notice?! I HAVE FREAKING AS TRIALS RIGHT NOW -_-!!! 

Still awaiting for the news of the venue and time for the fansign. If it's around afternoon then I might be able to go right after Math paper this Thursday. Pray pray pray!! I wanna meet Hyun Joong so badly!!!! ;_____;~~~!!!!!!!!!!! 

Btw Computing paper nearly killed me. And I didn't have enough time to crap for Thinking Skills. Things ain't going the right way so far. Also, there's Economics tomorrow. Real death.

(Damn it Allkpop already had this up on their site. Now MORE fans will come and hog SS501 tomorrow *zomg selfish*)

Oh well. 8D I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait!!

But first...

MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH!!! CONCENTRATE T_T!

Right after Math paper tomorrow, Christine and I will be fleeing off to One Utama to meet up with Steph then off to the fanmeeting. I bet there'll be lotsa fans  gathering by 3 or 4pm. I'LL JUST PRAY FOR THE BEST <3

HYUN JOONG, HYUNG JUN, YOUNG SAENG, JUNG MIN,  KYU JONG!!!!! 8DDDDD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA FREAKING FACE THEM TOMORROW! Hope nothing stupid happens tho... such as last minute cancellation and stuff. Urgh I don't even have enough time to make a banner to show my support for them T____T I really wanted to! BAH. 

Now as for my probability lol... better resume my revision before I start regretting like today's Economics -_-

DOUBLE S & TRIPLE S' I WILL SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW <3~ 

(More photos added!)

I stayed at library all morning with Mabel and her classmates. Stressing out with Math til I had to go lunch with Xin Yi & gang at Subway. Just a light one. Then Math paper 6 trial exam was on. I nearly died til the very last minute because I really couldn't write fast enough LOL. Major screwed up paper lah. Plus I was feeling so excited + scared + nervous (all these mixed feelings) because of this test paper AND SS501 at One World hotel. OMG. 

Rushed with Christine to One Utama but we missed a few turns omg. I was so afraid that they'd run outta albums to sell or something since Steph called up to hurry before more people come. It was already crowded at 3pm, can you imagine? The event starts at 6pm! -_-

Christine and I immediately went over to the hotel and finally found Steph waiting in a loooooong stretch of que. I don't even know how to describe it lol but we're pretty much around the end of the line. SO UPSETTING. So we found a way to buy the albums fast. Christine was SO NICE TO HELP US GET THE ALBUMS LOL SHE HAS HER TALKING TACTICS MAN. SOooo lucky 8D!! THANK YOU CHRISTINE! <3

[Photos are from me, Christine & Steph's cameras~] 

Steph's album 8D DAMN LA SO HANDSOME MAN ALL OF THEM.


HER PHOTOCARDS, NO FAIR TT-TT!


Steph & Chris 8D


Wan Fen!


HAHA YAYYYY A PICTURE WITH YOU~~ 8D Great to go through this event with you :3
 

Then, I met Wan Fen & Karien. HAHA I'm glad I bumped into them! Wan Fen's gang helped slot the three of us into cutting their line *oops :P?* because really the line was too pathetic wei. 

*Faints*

AND THEN SUDDENLY OUTTA NO WHERE EVERYONE STARTS RUNNING TO THE FRONT OMFG SO WE RAN ALONG WHILE CLINGING ONTO EACH OTHER D8 Omfg the crowd was crazy. All that squashing and sauna-like heat!! Totally like what I experienced from Summer Splash 2008. I held onto Steph and Christine's arms so that we'd stay close ;_;! LOL SOMEMORE we can still fangirl while being in that horrendous state HAHAHA. The fans were really uncivilized, quite embarrassing as Malaysians... I wonder what SS501 thinks of us -_- 

So after 2 hours of WAITING... Ttree of us finally got into the hall!!! HAHA OMG IT WAS SUCH AN EXCITING MOMENT. All I saw was a long que *again* at the center of the hall, and the rest were like scattered around? Outta curiousity, I walked closer to the front with Christine. OH MY GOD LOL I SAW HYUN JOONG'S HEAD AND I WAS LIKE SHIIIIIIIIIIT?!?!!!!! *WENT NUTS* Sad thing was.... we were only allowed to get ONE autograph from ONE member. Omg how pathetic was that?! In dilemma for a moment because I actually intended to line up for Hyun Joong's signature but looking at the que really seemed unfair for other members. It's obvious that Hyun Joong's fame was out of bias due to the drama Boys over Flowers. Damn fans get a life and support SS501 for real, NOT JUST HYUN JOONG >:( So since the line was so gay right, Christine dragged me into Hyung Jun's line instead. I hesitated, because I actually still wanted Hyun Joong's or Jungmin's. But HAHA I'm really not regretting lining up for Hyung Jun! LOLOL. While lining up, Christine was sorta just looking at the stage, until at one point, Kyu Jong waved & gave her a peace sign OMG HAHA SO CUUUTE! Then I realised right, THE WHOLE GROUP WERE SO HANDSOME IN REALITY. GOODNESS. I DIEDED LAH. I actually thought Young Saeng wouldn't appear to be attractive but I was so so wrong... HE WAS HANDSOME IN REAL LIFE! *DIES* What more Jungmin, Hyun Joong, Hyung Jun and Kyu Jong?!!??!?! AAAAAHHHH!!!!

I couldn't really get any pictures in the hall. Cameras weren't allowed :( The securities were so fierce to the fans even infront of SS501... ;_;

OK so Steph, Christine and I lined up for Hyung Jun in the end one by one. After Christine got her autograph, I stepped onto the stage and faced Hyung Jun zomg he is super charming with his smile. HE'S SUCH A SMILER LOL OMG. Then I greeted him in joy "Annyeonghaseyo!". He responded cheerfully with a huuuuge smile on his face while nodding slightly,"Annyeonghaseyo!" He signed the cover of the album and before I could even say thank you in Korean, he handed out his hand and OFFERED A HANDSHAKE. OF COURSE I SHOOK HIS HAND RIGHT LOL HOW CAN I NOT! XD Then said "Thank you" to me in a very sweet accent which is very well-pronounced along with ANOTHER KILLER SMILE before I can even say a "Thank you" first WTF WHY IS HE SOOO NICE?! I DIED I DIED I DIED!!!!!! HAHA. Magnae is sooo polite & he's such a gentleman T^T This is why I didn't regret getting his autograph. Hyun Joong probably wouldn't layan me coz he's got a huge demand for his signature. And I totally pitied Young Saeng's line :( :(!!!

Sneakily took a picture of Young Saeng 8D He puffed his cheeks, HWAAA~~ <3 So cute.  

Lookie at Jungmin!! <3

 
THIS IS A DAMN GOOD PHOTO OF KYUJONG LOL THANK'S TO STEPH'S FOLDER 8DDD! LOL Jungmin's high face.

 
If you look very closely, Jungmin's not signing any album. HE'S DRAWING HIMSELF ON THE TABLE CLOTH HAHAHAHA!! Gosh so adorable can?!

 
Everyone's favourite, Hyun Joong leaderrr! You'd so admit he's handsome ONCE you see him, not just in this photo. 

So I walked off the stage. Wondering where Chris and Steph went. I realise we could squeeze into another line to get another autograph from another member HAHA. Christine and I lined up for Kyu Jong's. Kyu was the quieter one so we didn't really get to greet properly and it seemed all rushed. Just said thanks and left. DAMN IT I could've taken Jungmin's autograph as well T_T! Hyun Joong's is already impossible :( Sigh lol. Anyways, while waiting in Kyu's line, Jungmin was such a poser giving random winks and cute faces/smiles all over. Until at one point, he waved at me and Christine. LOL ZOMG *WAVES BACK~~!!* 

Headed out of the hall, searched for Steph and Karien. Apparently Steph was lucky enough to get Hyung Jun to sign her photocard AND the album cover ZOMG UNFAIR MUCH LOL. And she took Jungmin's as well! XD As for Karien, she only went for Young Saeng. You know what sucked ... they didn't use permanent markers but whiteboard ones -__- SO OURS GOT MESSED UP & ERASED OFF AT SOME PARTS T______T UWAAAA!! So we quickly snapped pictures with it.

Karien! <3 Miss having hip hop lessons with her and even danced SNSD's "Gee" HAHA.
 

Shit lah look at mine. Kyu Jong's signature already half way disappearing ;_;~ 


Steph got two of Hyung Jun's autograph and 1 from Jungmin. How nice T^T!!


They just met today. It's nice that we all get along DUH HAHAHA HOW CAN WE NOTTTT LOLLL FANGIRLING CAN NEVER PUT FANGIRLS APART LOL.


<3


VERY VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED FANGIRLS!!!!! 8DDDD
Honestly we actually looked bad here... VERY. BUT YOU KNOW HOW PHOTOSHOP WORKS! I made us look extremely sweat-free wtf LOL.
 

We even waited outside for SS501 to come out into their car. RAN like mad but found out that they actually went back up into their hotel LOL FAIL. So Christine, Steph, Karien, Hana (Jungmin gave her a modified name HAHA SO LUCKY coz he couldn't catch her name when she said it out LOL CUUUTE!) and I went to One Utama to cool off. WE WERE SO LOUD SPAZZING AWAY IN THE MALL LOL SQUEALING SOMEMORE. Spazzed and fangirled for awhile until we had to leave around 8.30pm. LOL all of us were like saying we'd never wash our hands from today onwards because they shook our hands :P 

Me: DON'T WANNA WASH HAND LAH. H1N1 ALSO NEVERMIND!!!
Hana: *AGREES STRONGLY* YAYA OMG.

LOOOOOL~~! I was obviously kidding BUT HAHA it was funny then 8D 

This is "HANA"s!! ROFL. Lucky of her though!! T^T


Ours all combined :D 

Christine being damn nice again, she sent Steph off at her house in SS2, and Karien and HANA (LOL I keep giggling when I say her 'name' 8D) were dropped at Pyramid. Christine came over for awhile, finding ways to prevent the autographs from smearing off. Sprays didn't work so I intend to go get the laminating thingie lol. Scanned in the autographs then Christine drove back home. Before that, we spoke to my mom HAHA we were like super hyper while doing so. I didn't even take my dinner and it's 2.41am already LOLOLOL. I'M NOT HUNGRY, SURPRISINGLY. TOO EXCITED TIL NOW XD. AHH I didn't get to meet Yilian today tho ;_;~ Next time maybe XD!

Shit I had so much fun despite the dumb crowd! However I kinda felt really sorry for those from the last batch who didn't make it into the hall to meet SS501 because time's up and it's quite obvious that the boys are already getting tired. YET they're still there to smile at you and make an effort to give out their autographs. I only hoped that Warner Music and the fans could have been more cooperative so that the event had went more organized than what we've faced. It was too chaotic, really. It'd be hard to get in if I didn't have Christine and Steph by my side the whole time so I also wanna thank them so much for being there with me and helped out each other whenever possible. The poor fans were probably really pissed off to know that they're not allowed to get in anymore. I tell you, we were so lucky... we only had about 10 minutes left til the whole thing ends. AHHH SHISUS WAS WITH US, THANK YOU!! Although I was there to support SS501, not SUJU...! XD It was heard that after the fansigning, SS501 had slept through in their car during their journey to KLIA. Waaaaa T^T I bet they're really exhausted from today, especially Hyun Joong I guess. He could make another faint if it's ever too tired. 

Anyways glad I met Steph and brought Christine along <3 Hell of an experience!! We went through hell and HEAVEN together, can you imagine... WE OFFICIALLY MET SS501 HAHAHA!!! :p No I still cannot believe it, wtf!! I'm so happy that I get to meet a Korean idol, like finally. 

We should do this more often :) LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AGAIN 8DDD!!!

Well it's late now. Legs hurt to the max and I really need the sleep XD! Tomorrow would be a resting day for me since there's no exam... until Wednesday. Long weekend for me! WITH THAT, I'LL ENJOY MY FANDOM FOR NOW HAHAHA! SS501 FIGHTING~! Can't wait for their concert this coming December <3

*Omgg I seriously still cannot get over their hotness and handsomeness D8 D8 D8... WHY ARE THEY SO PERFECT LOLOLOL *SQUEALS** 

SS501 in the fansign event <3 Jungmin looks like a girl, really. He's so pretty wtf! Kyujong & Hyun Joong looked really stoned HAHA!! Young Saeng's never photogenic but he's shockingly handsome in reality TRUST ME! And Hyung Jun at the rightest... looking so handsome 8D!!

STILL CANT BELIEVE IT'S THIS GUY HERE LAH! IT'S HYUNG JUN, IT'S REALLY HYUNG JUN THE MR NICE GUYYY!!!!!! Nowonder he's pretty likeable :___:~~

*Dreams of SS501 tonight <33333*~ 

P/S: Weird. I dreamt of Big Bang's fansigning few weeks ago during my sleep. And a fansigning event really happened, just that it's SS501 and not Big Bang. HAHA OMG 8D!!!! I SO DON'T REGRET BEING IN THIS THING CALLED KOREAN FANDOM, feels so fucking good.

P/S/S: Again to Christine Lim, my chakya/college kawan/Kpop buddy/sayang/etc. Really wanna thank you so much for being there with us. Especially when you helped out the most!! Taking the time to drive us right after college and although we took a few wrong turns since we're not familiar with the place, you're so independent and managed to get your way back on track without feeling too panicked, UNLIKE ME I WAS NEARLY DYING AT THE PASSENGER SEAT THERE T_T I need to learn emotional control from you LOL. Also thank you Christine for helping me and Steph to get the albums ALL THE WAY from the front. We weren't supposed to, but Christine and her talking + acting skills made it possible. HOW CAN?! She's just good at it lah and you just need some guts. She's got guts, we don't HAHA. Then clinging onto her so that I'd get into the hall together with Steph. Although I had a very hard time because my BAG was stuck inside the crowd while the handle was still on my shoulder. Kept pulling and pulling until the whole bag got outta there. Christine even dragged me to Hyung Jun's line which I was actually reluctant of at first but now I'm not regretting it. We even re-lined up for Kyu Jong's line to attempt getting one more signature, which actually happened so well. Plus she even helped to fetch my friends off their homes when she only met them today & made friends with them so easily. My god la if you're not around I think my day wouldn't be as great as this. So as a token of appreciation, I really really really really wanna THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!!!!!!!!! I really do, I LOVE YOU SAYANG (SARANGHAEEEE~~!) ;__;~~!! If there's anything I could do in return please say it because I know I haven't done much as a friend/chakya to you... I'm really willing to repay you back the good deeds you've done to me. <3 Thanks so much for everything!!

STEPH WHY ARE YOU SO LUCKY!!! :( :( Someone managed to capture a photo of her with Hyung Jun! Look at his face HAHAHAHA!! Totally overjoyed 8D!! Minus those flashing eyes of his. Steph don't be SS501 already!!

Anyways yeah. That was how Hyung Jun smiled at us. SO NICE & FRIENDLY!! OK I still haven't really gotten over SS501 yet HAHA the effect stays for quite long it seems XD

Super Junior, please pick me!! <3 I'm your biggest fan who'd support you all whenever & whatever!! Plus I'm not biased SO OBVIOUSLY I SHOW MORE <3!!! 8D *Prays prays prays* Ahhh, but what are the chances? T_T

To Korean netizens, leave Jaebum alone >:( He needs a break from all that nonsense! WE STILL LOVE YOU JAEBUM, NO MATTER WHAT  Support Jaebum by signing the petition below. That's the best we fans can do to help Jaebum oppa T^T~!

Support Leader Jay Park!!
Our goal is to reach 10,000. They've 7,000 plus right now so there's only a little more left! T____T JAEBUM STAY STRONG ;_; This seriously saddens me, LIKE REALLY. This is the first time I've ever felt so 'hurt' over an artist. 2PM fighting!

And to the fellow Cassies. No offence to major DBSK fans out there but I think some of you really need to shut up & respect other artists. Sure everyone has a favourite but never assume that your favourite artist is ALWAYS the best. Give others the opportunity man. Besides, KOREAN ENTERTAINMENT IS NOT JUST ABOUT DBSK ANYWAY!! -_- I'd admit they have the talent and looks, and they're pretty humorous but why must their fans always bash other artists? LOL... yeah so Super Junior, 2PM, Big Bang, SS501 and the rest are lousier, uglier and not as talented as DBSK. SO WHAT? It's OUR CHOICE whether we like them or not. Why be so biased, you won't even gain benefit from that kind of attitude. This is the one reason why DBSK is not in my top list of Kpop artists... they're getting overrated due to the fans out there, not because of DBSK themselves. In fact, they're actually fine. Excluding certains Cassies.

Been watching SS501's "Thanks For Raising Me" <3 Will continue tomorrow. I've to hit the bed now. I love my weekend where it's been filled with Kpop dosage <3 Goodnightttt.

This is probably the most frustrating morning I've ever had. Ok not really the most but I'm feeling so cranky right now. First off, I really feel like plugging off my telephone wire. WHY? Because this random person kept ringing our place like gazillion times. When I picked up the phone, there's ALWAYS no response or usually it's followed by noisy "dotting" sounds, I don't even know what the fuck is that? But it's hella annoying, you just feel like banging up your phone so bad. Then if I don't pick it up, the ringing goes and on for at least 5 minutes or so. I obviously cannot tahan such noise. And if I were to pick it up each time, I have to RUN DOWNSTAIRS to get it. I don't have a house phone upstairs, that's why. See it's STILL ringing, omfg. Worst thing is that I'm home alone right now -_- *Blasts music*

The other thing that really puts me into frustration. Jaebum's incident. I don't know, I think Kpop is sorta playing with my feelings lol. For one moment I'd feel YAY-ish and the next moment I'd be like urgh wtf is wrong with netizens lately. Not like Jae did anything like a sex scandal or a drug abuse in his damn life, you know? Stupid fucking Korean netizens really have no life but to purposely keep adding salt to Jae's problem. IT'S NOT EVEN A PROBLEM TO ME. So yeah I'm not Korean, that's probably why I don't really care what he had said in the past. But try to look at it this way, putting yourself in his position. 

How would you feel if you were sent over to Korea to have 24/7 of training and not knowing anything about their language, tradition, culture and even had a different taste bud for their food? Can you imagine the hardship Jae had to go through when he was only like what, 16? Jae was from Seattle, and was brought up there entirely. He obviously doesn't know a lot about his Korean culture and the netizens are blaming him for that. Jae had bad mouthed about Korea in his Myspace, calling "Korea is gay" "I hate Korea" and "I wanna go back to the States"... THAT is because he was in a fucking difficult position omg he doesn't even mean it. He just said those because he was HURT and MISSES HOME. A PLUS THAT HE WAS YOUNG AND DIDN'T NOTICE ABOUT HIS OWN WORDS. Did I mention that Jae did made an apology upon this? NETIZENS JUST DON'T WANNA LEARN. They even made a "Suicide Petition" for Jaebum. OMG HOW CRUEL CAN THE WORLD BE?! Who the FUCK calls for a suicide for an artist, THAT'S JUST REALLY RIDICULOUS. Netizens had already requested for all activities of Jae and fellow 2PM members to be cancelled. OMG LAH, CAN THEY JUST STOP IT?! WHAT'S GONNA BE OUR WEEKLY DOSAGE IF THERE'S NO 2PM BEING ACTIVE!??!?!?! AND... Netizens even WANT JAE OUT OF 2PM. HOW CAN YOU KICK A LEADER OUT OF 2PM LOL THAT'S JUST DUMB!!! Mnet even decided to postpone Wild Bunny's last episode because it would be inappropriate to watch Jae being silly in the show after this incident. WHAT THE FUCK? HEY YOU HAVE FANS WAITING OUT THERE, CALLING AND CHEERING FOR 2PM. YOU'RE DOING THIS TO PLEASE THE ANTI'S? THOSE ANTI'S ARE JUST JEALOUS OF HOW PERFECT JAE IS -_- Could you find anyone else who'd make Korean mistakes out of the blue... and laugh about it after that? AT LEAST HE'S WILLING TO LEARN EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH. I FIND HIS HUMOUR REALLY FUNNY OK WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO STUPIDLY NARROW MINDED. 

Omg I can't imagine what Jae is going through now. I just wish he's alright and wouldn't do any nonsense that'll hurt himself even more. Like Steph said, I REALLY WANNA HELP BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.... but to just support him as a Hottest member ㅠ___ㅠ Jaeeeee!!! You've put such a huge impact on us. This is the first time I've ever felt so angry and disappointed over an idol's incident. Because the problem wasn't even big to begin with, the netizens were the one who made it into a fucking big deal. SO WHAT if we say Korea is gay?! You're gonna kick Jae outta the country? BULLSHIT. I say Malaysia's gay too -_-

Jaebum oppa please stay strong!! T^T We're there to support you. Our "Support Leader Jay Park" petition has reached its' goal last night. Now it's ongoing still, 12k and more. I hope fans continue to support him. He totally doesn't deserve this as 2PM's 1st anniversary. 

Here's a fanmade video I saw last night. And it totally captured my heart. Jae makes us breathless D8 HE'S AWESOME DAMN IT. 

AH and I slacked since Friday. How awesome. I don't care about trials anymore. Really. 

JAE PLEASE DON'T GO. PLEASE.. WE WANT YOU. DON'T LEAVE 2PM. OMG PLEASE. I'M CRYING MY HEART OUT NOW. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO. FUCK THOSE NETIZENS. OMG WHY. YOU'RE A STRONG GUY, PLEASE DON'T LET THIS TAKE OVER YOU. 2PM IS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU PARK JAE BUM. 

A stabbed heart along with swollen eyes. 

This is what you get for loving a leader who left his members and country due to netizen's doings. Looking at his photos in the airport can really make me cry all over again. Just by looking at his back could make me feel so sad. It just seems that he isn't gonna come back anymore. 

"What time is it now? It's 2PM" That was Jae's voice, right?

How is 2PM going to go on without him? 6-member group? That's not 2PM anymore, it's not the same.

His last words were "I'm sorry". So heartbreaking yet there's nothing we can do about it. That was what he said before he left in the airport. 

How am I going to sit through my trials when I'm deep down depressed by all this? I can barely even use my brains to think. I don't even know how to feel about the whole situation anymore. Netizens are overdoing it. Now they even said they're regretting over Jae's withdrawal in his group. Stupidity & judgemental much? Well netizens, IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE TO REGRET IT. COZ YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS BLAME BLAME BLAME. GET A FUCKING ASSFUCKED LIFE. 

As much as most fans feel, we really want you back. Don't leave, please. Although you already did leave Korea, and already on your way to Seattle. Looking forward to your family and escape from all the bashings you received in Korea. I wish you a good life in Seattle, a happier and peaceful one indeed. Hopefully JYP would do something productive to solve all this. It's killing us all. Tearing us apart and just feeling so gloomy the whole day. Not just that Hyun Joong has been diagnosed with H1N1 disease. How much worse can the day get? This is the worst day in Kpop history, ever. 

We love you Jae (and Hyun Joong, please get well soon. We wanna see you in Persona concert end of the year!) and will continue to support all the way to the end. 사랑해  

This is definitely not the end, Jae.  

[EDIT]

Jae's last message to his fans & 2PM members:

"Hello, I'm 2PM's Jaebeom.

I'm sorry for giving you my last greeting through this letter.
I think it will be hard for me to see you all on stage because of my sorry heart.

I'm really sorry to everyone, and I'm even more sorry to the fans who have shown me love.
From today, I will leave 2PM.

2PM boys, I'm really sorry to the boys and I'm sorry I couldn't be strong as a leader and a hyung and have to leave like this.
However, I hope you will be more cool and charming.

Again, I'm sorry.

Jaebeom"
 

This fucking saddens me... watching this could make me cry, again and again. I'm not even ready to say goodbye to him.

I could barely sleep last night. Jae's image kept appearing. I don't know why but this has gotta be the worst feeling in the world. It's like you lost something real close to you, like a "family member". Though Jae and I are just, well, an artist & a madass fan... you obviously can tell that I'm totally saddened by the matter of him leaving. When I got up, I still couldn't believe that he's officially gone from 2PM. AND Korea. My heart felt like it's gonna get pulled down to hell or something. This discomfort and burdened feeling really sucks. 

Still no news from JYP himself. That's all I'm looking forward to, his official announcement about 2PM and Jae himself. Loads of fans were upsetted by this shocking decision by Jae and angered by the netizen's way of spoiling a young dude's dream and career. Now they're seeking for forgiveness and is regretful of Jae's leave. It's just too late, why apologize when he's already left the damn country man? He's not coming back until he's done studying music. I don't know how sure can this be true but he said this in an interview at the airport. This just means that he ain't coming back as 2PM's leader anymore... but only Park Jaebum/ Jay Park alone. They now label him as 2PM's ex-leader. Reading that can really.. hurt.. me. 

No I cannot listen to 2PM's music like before. I used to listen to it when I'm hyped up but it's all different now.  "돌아올지도 몰라" by 2PM, the title totally matches the situation. We know you'll be back, but we don't know when. 

I thought things were getting good during the past few days but look at this fucking mess they made. 

- TripleS fans were happy to meet SS501 in Malaysia. So was I. I couldn't believe that we did meet them in person.

- And suddenly there's news flying around that their leader, Kim Hyun Joong, has been diagnosed with H1N1 disease and it's been known that he got it when he was in Malaysia. Great, we're to be blamed now.

- Then how true that their company had confirmed about their Persona concert in Malaysia and Singapore end of this year. Now, will that even happen after Hyun Joong has been discovered with swine flu? Especially when he got in IN MALAYSIA OMG -.-

- I fucking thought 2PM was going so well with their Wild Bunny episodes. Everyone was looking forward to the last episode this week. But no, it won't happen?

- 2PM's newest album is in the making right now but after Jae's controversy, what'll happen next?

I think I won't feel the same anymore. Let's hope that we fans get through this quickly, because this is seriously seriously seriously bad for us.

Jae oppa, we wish you the best at Seattle, we know you'll be happy there but do remember you've millions of fans waiting in Asia for you to come home. Maybe a solo would do if coming home as a leader may be already impossible to happen? WE LOVE YOU JAE. AND I LOVE YOU. Yes I sound stupid for saying I love an idol who'd probably not see this but WHO FUCKING CARES.. I LOVE JAE BUM.

As much as we all have been overshadowed by Jae's leave... we still can't forget bout Hyun Joong oppa. It's good to hear that your health condition has been improved but we're still worried about you and your members. Please get well soon... we're anticipating for your awesome concert this year. Fighting!

If I ever continue to write more after this... you should know I'm obviously NOT over it yet. 

I want back my fucking dorky 2PM.
 

I'm glad I'm through with trials. Like finally. Need some chilling.

Honestly I don't think I will do well but that's what I can give for now. Sorry to my mom and dad if I'll disappoint them again with my results. Actually I'm sure this trial will double the disappointment for them. Sorry. 

One reason why I'm glad trials is over is that I can peacefully think/worry about Jaebum now. I don't have to keep forcing my head between studies and Jaebum wtf. Like wow. Leadja can really make you think of him 24/7. He's left a really deep scar in me ㅠ_ㅠ

My hope for him is still there. Please come back. I've no more tears to shed since it's all gone from yesterday and two days ago. I'm glad I'm feeling somewhat better. But I still miss his presence in 2PM. Wth I even decided to change my header to Jae.

Yeah so thank goodness holidays are here. Just for two weeks, and it'll soon pass by real quickly. By then we've to sit for AS finals. I don't know how things would go, obviously I'm not well-prepared. 

BTS with Jinn this Sunday. Plans changed... we're getting 2PM and Jaebum related stuff if possible, just as memories. 

Need. some. shopping. too. I'm waiting for Xin Yi ^^
And also karaoke session~! Gosh, I'm pretty much outing-deprived.

Past few days. Or was it just Monday? Anyway, I went over to Ayane mama's house to share with her my Super Junior dvds and other nonsenses. Glad that we get to fangirl together-gether. 

Need more of fangirling. Stop thinking of Jae ._.! 

This is one of the reasons why Ranessh rocks. HAHAHA!! He fails so much at KPOP LOL but it's so entertaining to listen to his trashy "Korean" lyrics HAHA. He sang most of the Kpop hits, which is just awesome HAHAHA. K I sorta made him sing them, coz he was at Lester's place playing with the microphone on MSN. He even sent a nasty message to me saying this:

"EH JADE AH! YOU LISTEN TO THAT KOREAN SHIT ALL AH YOU WANNA DIE EARLY AH?! AAH?!!"

And he sendiri went singing along to so many Kpop music HAHAHA. Even knew the tune so well.. for someone like him. HAH, take that Ranessh XD!!!

I'm pretty surprised he has been listening to Korean songs, like outta no where LOL! Without my knowledge that is *coughKpopisdefinitelyspreading~* <3 

Anyways, I kinda enjoyed listening to him trash-singing G-Dragon's "Heartbreaker" & Super Junior's "Sorry Sorry". REALLY PHAIL. 

So today have been OK for me. I consulted a dermathologist with mom this morning. 8 months of slow recovery.... BAD! T-T Hopefully Shisus will just suddenly provide me with nice healthy skin one day <3

I went to college around evening, to pass up my Computing project. Then I went for our class 'party' (also an early birthday celebration for Andrew Foo and Jia Wen) at the playground near EC's house. We went to buy food from the bazaar at SS18, brought back lotsa food and ended up not finishing them LOL. What a waste D: Finn even threw away our bbq chicken ._. Played candles, burn stuff, slides, swings, cake surprise, get bitten by red ants, took failed jump shots, ate oily food, Finn ss-ed... yeah like that XD 

Yay can't wait for Sunday! BTS BTS! Damn Steph going tomorrow with her friend T^T She can't join us on Sunday.. UWAAA!!! *anchors her legs* D8<!!

Lol I'm actually trying hard to forget about Jae, by having lotsa fun today. Hey that rhymes D8 Sigh... JAEEE!! :(

Feck, it's 3am. I've yet to finish my Japanese homework and I've to get up early to finish my artwork LOL EVERYTHING LAST MINUTE!!

Yeah so, bye!

One of the little things you need to know about me.

I don't like hate it when people don't respond/show very small response.

Last Sunday, Jinn and I planned to go over to Berjaya Times Square to feed ourselves with some Kpop because we've been hungry for it for quite a long time! She decided to bring her brother, Chee Kin, along since it's his 15th birthday! Once again, Happy Birthday :D!!

My mom dropped me at her house around 9AM. It's freaking early though XD Waited for those two to finish getting ready while I was busy admiring Jinn's room! It's awesomeeee. Love her wardrobe, actually more like I'm envious of it T___T! I want to organize my shits too LOL 8D So they used the hair straightener, fought for it somemore. LOL. I ended up using it for my hair as well 8D

Their dad sent us off to the bus station behind USJ 6. RapidKL bus finally came and I'm pretty disappointed with their new system. No more RM2 pricing for the entire day of RapidKL?! -_- And it's RM2.50 already, plus we can't reuse the bus ticket. Stupid, needa pay EXTRA D; So the entire journey through and fro was like RM5 all together. We didn't even sum it with the monorail yet!!! >:( Omg my future trips to KL will be pricier from now .____.!!

So anyways we reached KL safely. Our intention is to go over to Low Yat Plaza for Redbox session. Thing is, I'm not that familiar with KL.. and so were Jinn & CK. I called Ky while Jinn called her mom to ask for directions. CK then later pointed out that the "Low Yat Plaza" sign was just right infront of us. That caused a huge burst of laughter =_=! 

SO YAY LOW YAT PLAZA. So where on earth is Redbox? I heard it was at Basement 1 & it sounded weird that it'd be underground. BUT THERE REALLY WAS A REDBOX, A REALLY HUGE ONE D8! They probably occupied 1/2 of the car parking lot or something. This time the price was a little more expensive because it's buffet styled and somehow their service seemed WAY better than Pyramid's. ALSO RIGHT, THERE'S MORE KPOP SONGS. ZOMG hell a lot more updated than Pyramid's RedBox. I'm officially in love with Low Yat's Redbox. I was pretty shocked to see Super Junior's "Neorago" in pinyin under the list of Korean music! D; What more SS501's "Because I'm Stupid", Super Junior H's songs, SNSD's "Genie", etc. Just so many. IT WAS HEAVEN FOR US HAHAHAHA. Ok so practically the whole day, the three of us were singing Kpop songs. It was awesome because no one's there to bug us like "Hey can we sing something else?" LOL GO DIE!!!! I was having the time of my life with two bising people 8D

And since we finished singing most of the Kpop songs (zomg call us siao pls), we even repeated some. Also, Jinn and I suddenly thought of the idea where we switched on my phone's MP3 and let it play on the microphone 8D Then Cheekin suddenly had this brilliant idea. He switched on Super Junior H's "Pajama Party" MV and muted the television. This was the outcome: 

GD's Heartbreaker + Pajama Party

LOL DAMN NGAM LOR THEIR MASHING! *Died laughing* You can hear me and CK going crazy behind 8D!! Loved how 80% of the video was pretty coincidental. Wtf now I cannot listen to Heartbreaker the same way because I'll automatically think of SJH's gay dance. ROFL. 

Here's the remade one XD It's more accurate.

Ok so we were too busy singing that our food we took from the buffet became really cold LOL. Who cares~! Just eat.

After Redbox, we obviously head over to BTS. Straight away went to the Kpop store and we spent an hour or so over there. I was in dilemma lah, I couldn't choose between several things I wanted to buy :( But because of the lack of cash, I had to let go the idea of preordering 2PM's mini album on that day. I'll prolly get it next time. I WILL! I'M A MAJOR 2PM FAN, ALL HOTTESTS MUST SUPPORT 2PM AND PARK JAEBUM >;(

I also helped Ayane mama to get some stuff. All Super Junior stuffies of course <3 Jinn, Ann and I bought the same Super Junior "Boys in City" photobook. It's rather old since it was shot in Malaysia around 2006. LOL. But I'm not regretting it <3 Then I got myself Big Bang's Big Show Concert DVD zomg like finallyyyy! <3 <3 LOVE LOVE LOVE ;D The packaging is so awesome. I tell you, YG entertainment never fails to amuse me with their professional way of packaging albums and merchandises. And then I preordered GD's full album. HEHE. Can't wait. 

Had a drink with them and talked and camwhored and checked out our stuffies. Then we headed home. Though we took almost 1 1/2 hours to get back to Subang Jaya. The bus arrival was freaking slow at KL Central :( At least it was a good experience lol. 

PAJAMA PARTY DANCE~! LOL WTH. It's very very.. very.. let me repeat.. VERYYYYY addictive D8 CK and I even 'danced' this infront of a camera unintentionally. Shit. 

???? XD Singing Ayumi Hamasaki's "Voyage" with him was fun tho HAHA. Japanese songs are obviously easier to sing compared to Korean. Did I mention that the lyrics for 'Neorago' in Redbox was pure phail? HAHAHAHA. 

"Neorago... Nan neoppunirago"

becomes

"Nolako... Nan nopunilako" 

OWNED LOL.

Thank god people like us memorized some songs well enough *runs*


Stuffs I got <3



Big Bangggg. Need more dosage of them :)

We shall make another trip to KL <3 This time we should have Korean food as well 8D Shit gonna get broke, lmao. 

P/S: Current addiction...

HAHA weird title and weird lyrics though. Still, I love their MV and the song :D AND IT'S IN MANDARIN OHOHOHO! Never knew Koreans could pronounce Chinese that well, aye? <3 
看我看看我~~  

Things aren't going right for me. Staying home, rotting... since Sunday. FYI I haven't even stepped out of my house, not even my garden. And it's already Thursday. This isn't the kind of life I wanna live...

Problems. I don't even know where to begin. But from what I see, my new potential would probably be "waiting for a damn answer". Waiting is what I always do, although at times I'd go nuts from it. Being labeled as obsessed was kinda uncalled for. That kinda sucks because it was all a misunderstanding. Different things misleads to another, thus worsening the situation. Shit this. You won't ever understand me. All I can do is wait. 

I'd like to go on ranting... but I don't think that's a good idea. Sigh.

00:00AM 19/09/2009, 토요일 :4년 10달 (58달)...끝

영원히 사랑할께, 내남자 ♥

Channel [V]: Japan VS Korea

By looking at it, you know so well that I'll pick all the Korean artists :P Only when I was asked to choose between BoA and Ayumi, I chose Ayumi coz she's far better? For me that is XD STILL THE COMPETITION WAS TOUGH D8!!!

As for the champ, I felt bad for Big Bang but.... I just had to pick Super Junior LOL. I guess I sorta enjoy watching them more than other artists. UNLESS you ask me to pick between 2PM and Super Junior. THAT.... I'LL BE IN A WORSE SITUATION. I love them both equally coz they're both so entertaining! T^T

But geez, I bet that DBSK would get the top spot once again :( Give others a damn chance.

Super Junior fightinggggg~! <3

*Damn it I didn't win the tickets to Hong Kong to watch their Super ShowII concert ;_;!!!! SUJU PLS BE IN MSIA LOLLLL.

[edit]

I will update bout my sleepover soon.

SLEEPOVERRRRR~!!

It was great, had lotsa fun with Jinn and CK XD Thanks so much for letting me stay over and entertain me with lotsa Kpop HAHA! One of the reasons why I didn't want to stay home during the weekend is that I know I'd probably rot on my own and my thoughts would fly off somewhere. So yay I went over at Jinn's so I felt a lot more LIVELIERRRR 8D Though apparently she said I sometimes spaced out when we're having good laughs :( Sorry for such behavior of mine. Shisus no approves so I will get his punishment soon *SO EAGER FOR IT WTF*

I'm showing the whole world her awesome wardrobe XD *runs* I like the scarves section haha!


This. It's Big Bang all over her wall. Spot my big face? XD

We spent the night youtubing and watched lotsa Music Bank/Music Core/SBS Inkigayo performances. CK had this idea of searching for Norazo's performance called Mackerel and so we did and watched it like OVER AND OVER. We loled til' our voices were nearly gone ;o; They even made their parents watched it and they laughed really hard too HAHA. I don't get their dance choreography LOL BUT IT SURE CRACKED ME UP. 

You can laugh all you want at their ridiculous stage appearance HAHAHAHA. Too  much energy wasted on this XD

Then we watched Jinn's Big Show DVD! <3 But because we laughed too much on Youtube videos, our enthusiasm to watch the RM190 DVD was already like D: ? STILL WE WATCHED IT ALL NIGHT HAHA I ENJOYED ALL THE PERFORMANCES <3 Call us stupid but we even had lightsticks switched on and swayed it throughout most performances they did HAHA omg super syok sendiri. I think after 2 hours, we watched Super Junior's Super Show DVD, like 1/4 of it then we got REALLY sleepy at about 2am. So we stopped watching and went to bed XD I had trouble sleeping at first. So our annoying phone alarms woke us up around 9-ish. I had "Gee" on mine and "Cooking? Cooking!" on Jinn's phone <_<... just imagine the noise you had to hear in the morning XD

Got ready.. while waiting for Jinn, I went over to CK's room and listened to some annoying songs like Bada's "Mad" and HAM's "T.T Dance". SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH KPOP THESE DAYS?!?!? D8 

THEN OFF TO PYRAMID! Redbox with these two again. Never gets boring I guess 8D Sang practically the same stuff BUT this time I did more Ayumi songs with CK XD Should practice more then it'd be easier to sing along~ We had our SS moment again, playing our own songs from our phone -_- Food sucked... I barely ate half of it HAHA zomg. Chinese food can turn out so weird. 

Singing Neorago... it's a must 8D


Ho's

We went back to their home not long after we had our meal at Gasoline. Guess wut. We continued karaoke-ing in Jinn's room. HAHA. She had two microphones and a stereo and a large monitor so WHY NOTTT? <3 I think we sang 2PM's songs like twice... Only You, Doraoljido Molla, Niga Mibda, 10 Out of 10... Not forgetting Super Junior's 8D CK also joined in, the Ho's did well with Super Junior's "Don't Don" D8 They're so amazing in remembering the lyrics, even the rap parts LOL. UNBELIEBEBUL!!! XDDD I failed doing Super Junior M's "Super Girl" coz I suck at Mandarin HAHA... I'm seriously a Chinese phailure. 

And not just that... when we got bored of karaoke, we hopped over to CK's room and did some dancing somemore. I think I lost 99.9% of my energy doing the stupid Mackerel dance D: And even did "Pajama Party"'s... gayest dance ever :X Too bad we didn't record our fail since CK hurt his own toe while 'rehearsing' with us LOL poor dude. 

K so that's how I spent my day at Jinn's house. Best part is that it's all about singing and dancing and fangirling and mashing up random videos on Windows Movie Maker... everything was Kpop related. Jinn was probably the one that made brother turn into a Kpop fan as well *runs* Told you kpop is spreading. 

Seemed like it happened all so fast. I wish I could hang around a little more but my dad was already looking for me on Sunday evening. Sigh. Didn't wanna go back because I'd feel all lonely again and I've no one to talk to >.> Meh.

Still, I wanna thank both of them for accompanying me throughout the weekend :'D!! And be there for me, though I didn't quite show my "rantful" side because I didn't wanna spoil the mood... BUT STILL <3 They made me laugh and kept me busy.

SARANGHAE! 

FUCK 2009. FUCK SEPTEMBER. FUCK EVERYTHING.

So I have been in this crappy state for about almost a week. And I wasn't in the mood to write out about it. I guess it's about time.

I've been heartbroken twice in my life. I count that as a lot already. Once was enough, not needing another but it happened. I learned to accept it because I always told myself from the start that this very day would come about. Only time can tell. Fortunately for us, it occurred later than I thought which was 4 years later. Actually we've only 2 months left to our 5 years anniversary but I guess we're not fated to hit up to that spot. Damn right I was hurt. Who wouldn't be, right? 

But honestly, I'm glad he issued it in a nice way. Constantly giving me words of encouragement and tried to cheer me up from all the crying in that 2 hours of phone call. Though it was probably the biggest cry I've ever had in my life. Sure.. you all might've thought we'd last up til what.. forever? I never believed in a thing called 'forever' ever since I had my first relationship. Forever is bullshit.

Maybe, just maybe, it's better to be this way. I saw it coming... and I obviously don't want the same thing to happen again. He's a great guy, a great boyfriend and a great friend to be around with. My entire teenage life has been dependent on him.. 2004 til 2009. It's like I grew up along with him although we didn't meet up as often as every other couple. Probably not even 50 times in all 4 years. In this relationship I've learned a lot, and so did he. He changed into a better person just because of me. I don't think I've turned any better though... so for that, I'm sorry for not putting the effort to change myself. He's tolerant enough to stand my sudden outrages.. and I probably even blamed him many times for my crankiness. I'm sorry. But at least I learned what's loyalty all about. Many of my friends who faced relationship problems would come over to me and ask for advises. From now on, I don't think I'm the right person for you to turn to ._. Because I myself am doing a very bad job in handling my own emotions. 

It's gonna take ages for me to heal and forget about him. God I'm such a weakling when it comes to this. Stay strong and positive? That'd be hard, Ky. But yeah I'll try my best no matter what. You won't hear the stupid spontaneous happy couple "mimi" and "momo" anymore... Seriously it's kinda hard to believe it :( 

I don't wish for any of you to gain hatred towards him just because he had hurt me. I don't feel it's entirely his fault for all this to happen. I don't know but maybe it could've been me too? 

All I can say is that the guy I was with was a good person and I'm thankful of him for being there for me. Thank you for keeping my day bright, your stupidity and gayness still hits me once in a while. I wish us both the best for our separated future, you'll do good and I really believe in you.

I'm only hoping for a better tomorrow. Shisus, I'm counting on you.

P/S: I still love you. It'll die off but I don't know when. So please allow me to continue loving you until my heart decides to stop doing so. I love you.